Soul-mate

When you meet your soul mate, you don't recognize the face. You don't walk up to that person and know by looking at the person he or she is ur soul mate. Many times you might brought together by circumstances that seem like coincidence. It's about feeling of being awakened. And for me, I was totally taken off guard and, at first, was totally thrown off balance.. like the rug had been pulled under my feet. It is like you were asleep until you were touched by that kindred soul and then u are awakened and nothing is ever the same again. You know now that life before was not life but a dim existence and that up until that touch life was OK. If the feelings are so intense that it scares you and you run away, it won't last. I tried it. It felt great but it was also scary. I had never felt like that before with anyone.. ever. There will be no denying it like you won't be able to get this person out of ur mind n ur heart. He or she is part of you now and nothing will change it. The thought of them will send chills down your spine. You'll know that even if you are apart trying to deny that feeling NOTHING that happens will change the way you feel. Just the touch of their hand on urs gives u a feeling that cannot be described. Being in their presence will give you a feeling that is unparalleled. This particular person never leaves your thoughts and your heart. It will like that person is somehow imprinted into you now. A part of you that will remain no matter what.

 I believe that soul mates exist on a higher level of love. There is a strong connection that is present that is simply just there. It's like you can communicate with that person without even speaking. But, you cannot always be with your soul mate either which can seem like a really cruel joke or something. There may be some circumstances where you cannot be together. In this kinda of situation, life can be quite miserable but you can learn to live with it. Some people are trying to do that now. However, its not easy at all. There is a strong sadness and feeling of emptiness if you cannot be with your soul mate. There have been many times that I wished I had never met my soul mate but it was never up to me. It just happened like it was something that was supposed to happen even though we cannot be together. It was very difficult for me to understand that and I question why I had to meet this person that I cannot be with. Fortunately, for me, I am kinda busy abit and that helps some but sometimes I often get this sinking feeling and almost physically at the thought of never seeing this person again. Just being around him was better than not seeing him at all. It's been over a year now since I last saw him. It is very difficult and there are days that I felt like a part of me has died. It;s like the lights have been dimmed. I've always have been an upbeat person in general but there is sadness that seems to hang over me many days even though most people around me don't know it.(actually I prefer tht most). I've gotten pretty good at hiding it from strangers and colleagues but my family (especially my mom) knew it. Well, you will absolutely know without a doubt when u meet ur soul mate. You may not know immediately what is happening but trust me, it won't take long and you will know soon. For me, I was not even looking or thinking along the lines of meeting someone, especially in the situation that I was in when I met mine. I felt kinda of... emotionally ambushed but it felt really good. I will never be the same as I was before. I am happy that I met him and I am sad tht I don't get time to spend with him at all. I missed him terribly and would do just about anything to see his face again, and just have a conversation of any kind at all !! Maybe someday it will happen. I've accepted that it may not.

The part about life never be the same, picking up the energy is the hardest part for me but although the physical connection has not happened, the spiritual energy and inner connection is just so strong at times, I find it almost overwhelming, I distinctively know when he is thinking about me or close to contacting me or missing me. The obstacles are against us so much and I have always pray for him. He has always been in the back of mind and I wished tht I had never met him (during strange coincidences of course). I also wished that there was a way to get my mind erased, or for my heart to be taken away because sometimes it is too much to bear. The connection makes me feel drained physically, mentally and emotionally and for my own peace of mind tht I have had to walk away to gather myself in my own thoughts and concentrate on myself before I become so weak from this intensity. There is a fantastic book called 'When souls connect' by Steve Gun which describes the push and pull of the soul mate connection and how they lesser evolved soul will run in fear. Hmmm.. these kinda feelings are not called as obsession. I could say that my instincts are always right.. always!!

I cannot believe that I'm posting this kinda of things at this time.. I should enter into an usual non REM sleep zone but I didn't.. Assignmts?? Exams??

STOP being an emo darling.... Arrrgghxxxx

 Alryt... gudnyt..