CONTINGENCY PC

Where am I??..

sitting in front of a computer.. err known as CONTINGENCY PC ( PLEASE DO NOT SHUT DOWN THIS PC)

hokay.. no probz.. of course ppl wont shut it lyk that cuz they are using right nw and you are restricted sama sekali from log in FB..well, that webpage is blocked.not only here, I mean they applying that system almost to all government hospitals.. hmm..>,< good too if not, than there wont be any single person WORKs!! lol
didnt get enough sleep probably because of disability to adapt a  new environment.. well, still adjusting to a new disability (in the progress) =p

I saw a prescription of a baby girl whose mother has my cute plus nice name..hehe
I top up all those medications with my buddy..actually, she is the one who have to accomplish all the task and get the work done but me..a follower becumin a teman n lastly a helper!!
Good to see my workplace again n again, its just bring alots of sweet memories. still fresh in my mind..
Yesterday Sani Pradhosam at Sri Sivan temple was just awesome. I 've never been there before.Its located at Universiti Malaya. Simply nice =) lost my self completely in those prayers. Thanks to her and her fly n of course to those half-grown-up-naughty-cousins who are so (naughty) as well. Hermmm well, nw i bangun from a mattress, i dont know exactly of what they called it. It luks lyk sofa n with a white huge blanket. SOFA?? is that what they calling it nw?

 hmm.. I slept there like I've never slept before. But, a few minutes, I get caught cold, cneeze, runny nose and voice imbalance and a very WEIRD dream, huh? The dream was abt a pharmacist that was on-call that day, seriously he is scary..No, I mean it!! Sikit lagi, I pula kena masuk ED!! The one who hv to treat ppl wit drugs gona let herself being admitted in ED, but fortunately nt undergoing any serious or dangerous complications. Hihi.. The first question I asked her was "when was the last time they wash this blanket"?? Her reply made me gone mad. " Im not sure abt that, maybe a few months ago". I was like errr, seriously?? Whoever used this blanket before are probably.. dot dot dot. Totally didnt gt any idea abt those ppl.. hehe.. hmmm I'm sending my condolences to them. freakin cold wei!! A big THANK YOU for that blanket. What to do?? Its better we have something than have nothing, isn't??..=)

So, here I am again ~> updating my blog =) (nasib baik, my blog's webpage isn't get blocked)

What else??

Whatever I want to say.
its ruined by my words
something i feel that
the whole world is a magic
which is there n not even there
these wind, clouds, springs and air
they signal to me
how do I say
their story

I hv often thought
that you, me, all of us are mirrors
we see only ourselves in all
Im not there still I am
right, wrong yours me
I have to get...get you

My lovely DEGREE..^^

so, that 'B.Pharm (Hons)' will appear at the back of my name.. forever!!!

Help! there is a song stuck in my head!!

A little piece of music does strange things to me. It’s quite inexplicable actually because…I am not there, just not there. I’m gone. It’s like somebody deliberately is tugging at my heart strings making it play the melodies that I hear; or it’s like somebody mercilessly chose to pierce my heart with a needle, yes a needle, and the emotions ooze out like some sort of queer fluid……..and there is just plain silence. I can never really make sense of all that happens when that piece of music plays in my head. Its strange how there are random songs playing inside my head when the world around me and the world inside me is burning with a terrible anger. There are incessant fights, banging of doors, screams and shouts and abuses hurled……yet it’s a strange song inside the head, one that no matter how hard I try I can’t shake off. It just wouldn’t go. I choose not to evaluate its normalcy levels because I don’t care. Its just strange, that’s all…

Single Mindedness

The mind spins, there's a fire in your breath,

The heart dances right and left like a pendulum,
The mouth alone, does not speak,
The whole body speaks,
This is the worst kind of sickness,
A very passion-filled sickness..

Wake up,gurl!

 Life has a pernicious way, it seems, of quietly sidling up behind our limbs and catching us by surprise with its powerful, unexpected exhalations. Words can't described just how heartbroken she is. Since I feel like she trying to pull away and slowly cut ties to everything around her. Surely, everyone has experienced heartbreak. But, for those of you who have not felt this way, for those of you who have done this to the rest of ppl, this is what it feels like. It's like lying on the floor, the phone still in your hand, you make a pathetic attempt to mask your grief, to sound normal. But the huskiness in your voice betrays you like pretending that you are alright. How it exactly you felt? You can't breathe, you can't stop crying, and sometimes your chest even burns or feels like someone stabbing a knife into your chest and twisting it repeateadly or the awful pain you feel and how much you hate the person for leaving you, and at the same time desperately want them back? “That’s exactly what heartbreak feels like,” I thought. And what you thought about me? I couldn't understand it or  just walk away pretend that none of these aren't my business nor it matters,huh??

You know exactly how it feels right but is this love? I don't think so. I'm not sure what it is. What are you up to and why are you struggling? And you still standing in this twisted state of mind, hoping that 'someone' comes along and rips his heart out someday like a so- called Prince Charming to begin a happily ever after life with you? You must be a FOOL!!! What's going on inside yourself? Are you nuts? Can't you see that you are being misused and betrayed by that stupid fella? Are you really that dumb? How long you are going to bear this pain? This kind of useless relationship is just gonna let youself being ripped off. You have to let go and move on. You did do a lot for him. He doesn't deserves you.Thinking of past failure will only bring more pain. Find someone with a brain attached to their body. Got it?

and for the 'wonderful' guy that used to be ma good friend>>>>>> now you just 'somebody' that I used to know..

Get lost!!!

>.<  screwww you, stupid nasty jerk!!!

Well

for the duration of previous week, ma mind (and heart) was filled with so much illumination and light. I stumbled upon many great readings and reminders that helped to not only have a paradigm shift, but to see the world and experiences within it from a different angle.  Had clarity and understanding, as if that imaginary lightbulb above ma head suddenly lit up. Mainly because of the end of practical training. Hmmm..maybe! =)

it's not to say the cloud of self-doubt etc haven't snuck into ma mind still, but it's that me choosing to let de heart be the stronger one. choosing to feed the faith, in maself, in life, in god instead of feeding the fear, negativity, assumptions, and ridiculous expectations (that I place on myself, that others legitimately place on me, or sometimes that I tell myself others place on me).

-lil grinned-

The point

The language is strangely formal . I read and read over again - looking for signs or for some vetted message hidden in the words,- Hardest thing. Somehow I catched the point!