Lesson indeed!!

Here I go again. Brain on overdrive, fantasizing about something and getting myself all hormonal and wound up again. So, I wonder, are chemistry and hormones the only things that motivates us, and is our brain mainly guided by our S* urges? If human beings are slave to these urges, are we really as civilized as we think we are? Isn't self-control one of the qualities that is supposed to mark the difference between us and the rest of the animal kingdom? How can I make all those promises about resisting and keep my butterfly wings to myself, yet sit here and thinking like some kind of senseless creature ??!!

Location ~ Ma house
Weather ~ Raining heavily
Time ~ 10.15pm
Mood ~ Unexplained :p
While  ~ Drinking Milk =))
Realizing ~ Owh, "Today is National Day n also the last day of August.."

Escapism

One of Mum's fav sayings was: 'Rooms reflect the inner self'. So is mine's!! =) Things were lukin great by the time Mum came back. She winked at me and said, "Your faces are as easy to read as an airport novel". I frowned, (*well, not really). Her reaction was confusing.This was far worse than that and yet there she was smiling. Mums can be so unpredictable. It must be their way of keeping kids under control. Hermmm..!!!

Leaving myself behind

For every step I take towards you
You take none
And so I take two back

For every step I take towards you
I walk further away from you

Well, as always I wishd you
"Take care always"
It will stick to you
No matter whatever happens
Even though you ignore em

Being unfolded

All I can see is a bunch of ppl buzzin all over de place while carrying some 'unwanted-self-destructive-havoc-buddies' like stroke, heart attacks, diabetes, high bp and so on so forth thru out their whole life. And again their grown up kids hv to and yeah they are really duin their job. Holding a stake of medic reports/appointment cards on d left hand while handling their gold one on the right hands. Companying them and some of them were pushing their wheelchair also. Well, welcome to the club!! Humming 'You are not alone" by de great MJ =). Not to forget the maid's duties too. Glad to know that appreciation and responsibility for the gold ones is still there. Show some lurve and care towards them. The world is craving for it and need it abundantly.

-tiny smile on ma face-

Oh Noooo!!!

First time, Im pinjaming big big reference books from campus library. Should b heavier thn me. Damn heavy la u all  >.<
dah nk finish final sem, baru nak start belajar konon2.. Maybe its a second time, Im borrowing these kind of books.. err that one was during first sem, kalau x silap saye..hehe

NOT A Bookworm either...

Uhuk uhuk..

hehe.. kesiannye dia study.. stress juga kot =p

-showin muka ngantuk-

Well

for the duration of previous week, ma mind (and heart) was filled with so much illumination and light. I stumbled upon many great readings and reminders that helped to not only have a paradigm shift, but to see the world and experiences within it from a different angle.  Had clarity and understanding, as if that imaginary lightbulb above ma head suddenly lit up. Mainly because of the end of practical training. Hmmm..maybe! =)

it's not to say the cloud of self-doubt etc haven't snuck into ma mind still, but it's that me choosing to let de heart be the stronger one. choosing to feed the faith, in maself, in life, in god instead of feeding the fear, negativity, assumptions, and ridiculous expectations (that I place on myself, that others legitimately place on me, or sometimes that I tell myself others place on me).

-lil grinned-

Booking faces..

Basically not the type who like to send friend requests to ppl on fb, unless I know the individual personally and would like to be friend wit them. As a general rule, me do not friend people tht I've not met in person.=/ Last time it was quite interesting where you'll get 20 friend requests and you gonna choose randomly by approving 2 or 3 of them. The rest was ignored.  But now it seemes like 'NO MORE'. Not gonna/prefered to be in that kind of state. Cannot even appears as online. Aiyayooo..=( Well, I've seen two things on the internet abt whether or not ppl should accept friend requests from certain ppl. Thought this was an easy decision, but the cowed internet legions out there have turned it into an existential question tht needs input like hit 'Confirm' or 'Not now'. So far had deleted 600 of them. It's very hard to delete them frm your profile where you hv to go through one by one. Too tired.. >.<
 Having mor thn 1000 friends is not a big deal. Some ppl think they're awesome and popular cuz they hv a lot of 'friends'. Another tons of friend requestsss..???.again!!.. When you set your pic as profile pic, more frnd requests will buzzing all around you. Booking faces??  Duh!! B.O.R.I.N.G.
My irritation meter has just passed the line of “contemplate burning things”.Thought wanna deactivate or straight away delete  fb bt afraid of might loss of some imp contacts.

Hmmm..sorry peeps.. (to those who are being removed)

will keep on deleting you ALL!!..(until target reached).. hehe =p

Awesome Fridayyy..

purposely did lunch call so that can go bek earlier to college... Result n Uniform Day.. Can't get rid of the uniform and stuffs..Grrrr..Would like to give a big round ZERO to the management..rumbling, gurgling and growling.. What is that?? Oh, I knew it. My dear stomach is giving noises..=) The next destination was the college's cafe.. It's been so long since I've eaten there.. everything is finished.. take off uniform and keep the tee shirt on.. comfortable with it..Time is running.. and we had waited for the college bus for almost 1 hour..by the time we got half way it had started to rain heavily..soaked down completely even though we used an umbrella and yeah of course small tiny umbrella won't help that much..lebih2 lagi 2 persons shared one like folie à trois..=p.. Shoes got wet.. Luckily we wore tee shirts. Thank God.. And now what?? looking for a restaurant to eat something.. Trust me when I say all shop loads, stalls and even restaurants are closed cuz of the weather.. We're so damn hungry.. She wants me to lead her, duhhh.. try findin Chinese restaurant for her..bit concerned of wht she will eat..fam for spicyphobia.. I'm ok with all types of foods as long we hv something to eat!! Hehe..pity you Wei Ling..at last had our lunch+dinner at Mamak restaurant.. Then, planned to have a movie marathon but ended up with watched only one movie.. herrmm.. nevermind it's still ma fav.. Ice Age 4.. Damn silly and humorous =)..went to pasar malam.. cuci mata sikit with gurl's stuffs and bought some of it..well, still got time to choose either Batman or Spiderman.. looking at each other.. Want it or not?? WANT!!! but it's impossible ryt now cuz might reach hostel late.. Perhaps, next Wednesday will be the day.. Here I come Mr.Spiderman and Mr.Batman!!

-wink-

Random Event

Going to temple mainly for worshipping or offers prayers where we get these positive vibes and blessings of GOD due to which we get peace of mind and our mind will be filled with positive thoughts. Even though not everyday, at least once in a week is a must. Because of some inconvenience, I skipped these task for almost one month as I'm here, not anymore at my hometown. Mind telling me that I should find out some ways to overcome this difficulties. But, it's seemed impossible where there is much more have to be think about such as transport, companion and of course the location of the destination. Ended up with home prayers but still felt of the absence of energy and relief as praying in temple.

-worried-

No Title, Sorry!

There is something more terrible than a hell of suffering-a hell of boredom!!! =p Boredom is like a pitiless zooming in on the epidermis of time. Every instant is dilated and magnified like the pores of the face. Too many works? Making us tired. Too many rest? Making us tired. Errrr... Here I am. Despair of yawns looking at those leaflets which doesn't try to do everything for everyone. Instead it focuses on making the basic things work perfectly. It should still satisfy the needs while being flexible enough to be easily extended by writing third-party plugins. Well, the leaflets of drugs are being collected or more suitable if I say it's being stolen by me. Taking out of all the useful papers from those boxes without asking ANYONE's permission is actually considered as stealing. Hehehehehe.. But I'm saving their lives from being thrown into the dustbin mah.=) Creating a new cute lil MIMS for me. Hoping so much that tomorrow is going to be something new and interesting.

*LOVE*

Longing

The tea cup rattles as you pick it up to take a sip... A small smile playing at the edge waiting to bloom... That look in your eyes burning for me, I treasure most... For I know it's for me that you have searched, to keep me selfishly for you... But that crooked smile will always haunt me as I sit on the kitchen table knowing you will never return...The day you came back to say goodbye was the last I knew I'd see you for that cause you fought valiantly, chivalry in your blood... The one trait I admire in your most and always will be...The body that came back as an emptyshell...Cried for you day and night..Afraid to wake to the morning light...The torment in me so great, my heart ripped apart as you floated away... And now again, I sit here alone reminiscing of the past.. For I miss you so much and in my heart memories being pressed between the pages of my mind..

Oh my English...

Words getting stucked in my head last time..like counting million stars..Dreaming of how it all could be. But none can say what lies ahead..hmm..well, well, well, totally blanked out..How I suppose to start my journey.. I mean blogging?..without any references.. My brain gets into the hyper action mode and starts posting all these posts. It's been almost a year where I lastly touch de novels again cuz of the practical trainingggg..!!! So,here I am. Currently blurred- in a situation of something vaguely or indistinctly perceived..Then, he came, made an entry..my SAVIOR..! my Teman.. I felt some kinda secured and totally happy.. m nt sure whether he is reading all ma posts-that's probably because.. HE is a very busy man and maybe couldn't have much more time indeed to be spent as a blogger but still manage to. M not praising nor complimenting him. Better if they weren't called as "compliments". Maybe if they were called "mission-critical observations", or "actionable intelligence", or "man points". Keep thinking and wondering "What are you, a centaur?". Such an Awesome guy I've never ever met before. So proud of him and felt whole heartily thankful to (You-Know-Who)..=) just a pure thought..
 Whatsoevar, I'm back to my past again where my literature biz were made under some circumstances and totally widened up now. Grammar being improved I guess..=) and advertising scenario of family been reduced a bit..forsaken (00,) hehe.. Blogging makes one appreciates every micro things happening around em...

*To be continued*

Bring it On

The holidays have been wonderful..really. Had a glorious time..doing a lot of things,..walking around,shooting little bits,getting high,being totally starry-eyed..but it's the end of it now. De 2^nd  practical training is starting from Monday and the attendance-shit is bugging me. but to hell with that..what an amazing posting at HPJ I had this year..everything was very special indeed..and so the wonderful days deserve this tiny piece of post..I guess..

so long.

I have to get back to serious, hard work.  Everyday blogging???..nah..impossible..Once in a week?..Errrmm..c 1st la.…=)

OR..

Maybe after this, no more posts at all..( a big full stop for blogging) TEMPORARILY…

-sigh-