Single Mindedness

The mind spins, there's a fire in your breath,

The heart dances right and left like a pendulum,
The mouth alone, does not speak,
The whole body speaks,
This is the worst kind of sickness,
A very passion-filled sickness..

Wake up,gurl!

 Life has a pernicious way, it seems, of quietly sidling up behind our limbs and catching us by surprise with its powerful, unexpected exhalations. Words can't described just how heartbroken she is. Since I feel like she trying to pull away and slowly cut ties to everything around her. Surely, everyone has experienced heartbreak. But, for those of you who have not felt this way, for those of you who have done this to the rest of ppl, this is what it feels like. It's like lying on the floor, the phone still in your hand, you make a pathetic attempt to mask your grief, to sound normal. But the huskiness in your voice betrays you like pretending that you are alright. How it exactly you felt? You can't breathe, you can't stop crying, and sometimes your chest even burns or feels like someone stabbing a knife into your chest and twisting it repeateadly or the awful pain you feel and how much you hate the person for leaving you, and at the same time desperately want them back? “That’s exactly what heartbreak feels like,” I thought. And what you thought about me? I couldn't understand it or  just walk away pretend that none of these aren't my business nor it matters,huh??

You know exactly how it feels right but is this love? I don't think so. I'm not sure what it is. What are you up to and why are you struggling? And you still standing in this twisted state of mind, hoping that 'someone' comes along and rips his heart out someday like a so- called Prince Charming to begin a happily ever after life with you? You must be a FOOL!!! What's going on inside yourself? Are you nuts? Can't you see that you are being misused and betrayed by that stupid fella? Are you really that dumb? How long you are going to bear this pain? This kind of useless relationship is just gonna let youself being ripped off. You have to let go and move on. You did do a lot for him. He doesn't deserves you.Thinking of past failure will only bring more pain. Find someone with a brain attached to their body. Got it?

and for the 'wonderful' guy that used to be ma good friend>>>>>> now you just 'somebody' that I used to know..

Get lost!!!

>.<  screwww you, stupid nasty jerk!!!

Well

for the duration of previous week, ma mind (and heart) was filled with so much illumination and light. I stumbled upon many great readings and reminders that helped to not only have a paradigm shift, but to see the world and experiences within it from a different angle.  Had clarity and understanding, as if that imaginary lightbulb above ma head suddenly lit up. Mainly because of the end of practical training. Hmmm..maybe! =)

it's not to say the cloud of self-doubt etc haven't snuck into ma mind still, but it's that me choosing to let de heart be the stronger one. choosing to feed the faith, in maself, in life, in god instead of feeding the fear, negativity, assumptions, and ridiculous expectations (that I place on myself, that others legitimately place on me, or sometimes that I tell myself others place on me).

-lil grinned-

The point

The language is strangely formal . I read and read over again - looking for signs or for some vetted message hidden in the words,- Hardest thing. Somehow I catched the point!